“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ― Oscar Wilde. Life.

A lot of people have asked me how I feel being back. Awkwardly, my reply is that I don’t like it. I want to be back having adventures, meeting new people and ahem, in the sun. Its the little things. But I guess this is not the answer people want to hear.

As many of you know, before I went I was not really in the happiest of places. I had come out of a long-ish relationship. I felt bored at work. Things were not going to plan. Also I had moved back home. As much as I love my mum, this is not part of the 33 year old independent woman plan.

So off I went, traveling for two months. Not to find myself and all that jazz. But simply to have a break. Clear my head and laugh lots. Having travelled for the last couple of months – this seems to be a common occurance. Relationships end – persons flee the country. Heartbreak = brilliant for tourism.

And it was wonderful. I genuinely loved every minute of it – even the painful ankle, sleeping in a tent with gale force winds and rain, horse riding on a speedy, beautiful horse and water rafting in torrential rain. Even my frustration at not being able to communicate with most of the South American people for two months has not put me off. I want to continue. I don’t want to be here, plodding along working, going to the gym, waiting for ‘Mr Right’ to ‘save me’ from a Bridget Jones type of lifestyle. But then I have always had ‘itchy feet’ as it were.

So does this mean there is something wrong with me? My friends are ‘meeting their Mr Rights’ (or have done) or are flourishing in their careers and buying houses. Maybe I need to focus on a career and hobbies. Anything to fill my time so that I do not think of the adventures waiting for me out there.

Also you have to come back at some point right? And when I do, will I regret going away and not focusing on my career and finding a nice English bloke to settle down with. After all, there is always match.com. Will I be alone, living in a shared household with 20 year old somethings because I did not focus on a career and all the good men are gone.

d

33 years old. Darnit, why couldn’t I feel like this when I was a wee whipper snapper?!

So my initial thoughts are that I am going to see how things go. I will look for alternative jobs, I will try and date, I will also save and come the end of the year – if I still feel the same – I am off. I am already thinking of including Africa in my route.

Not so secretly, I am keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t find a new career I love or meet Mr Right (whatever that is). Because I want the sun. I want adventure and culture. I have already started zumba classes in readiness for partying back in South America. Ha.

So we shall see where this year takes me….. As one person quoted me ‘You never know……’. And thats the beauty of it all.